Part 48: Episode XLVII: Animal Antics

Episode XLVII: Animal Antics



Welcome back. Upon further review, we’re actually surprisingly close to the end of the sidequest block. All that remains is a handful of quests involving the Forest Zone. So that’s where we’ll be heading for the next couple of updates.


Music: Forest Kingdom (Quiet)



Our first stop on the tour of the Forest Zone’s seedy underbelly involves checking up on that outpost the Resistance were planning on setting up. You remember? In that area we cleared out for Anemone. They wasted no time setting up camp on the trampled remains of those Forest Kingdom machines. Good for them. Let’s see what’s shakin’ with the new Forest Zone dwellers.







The newly established camp offers some basic healing and buff items on sale as well as some truly remarkably useless chips. A 5% chance to auto revive on death with 1/5th health? Or a 5% chance to restore 10% of damage from a hit. Hoo-doggy! We’ll get right on stuffing our limited chip space with those key augments. What’s next? Maybe a 5% chance to recover from stumbling while dashing for longer than 15 seconds? Or maybe a 3% chance to get a 100 G discount on all store purchases? Y’know. The good shit!

Anyway, we’re not here for mercantile. We’re here for another sidequest. Let’s see what this overalls wearing yokel android has to offer...



See, I’m doing research about food for whenever the human race decides to return to Earth. Those humans were always going on about eating, right? Well, also clothing and shelter. But mostly eating. Anyway, I’m collecting ingredients from across the land for research purposes, and I’m betting you’d like to help me out! Er, right?
<Help out.>
Thanks a million! So meat’s at the top of the list, naturally, which means I need you to head out and find both moose and boar meat.



You heard it here first, folks. You can see it on her face. Clear as day. Quite the foodie here.



So begins the Culinary Research quest. That’s right, everyone. It’s time to go bend nature to our will. With murder! The way god intended it. Or something like that!



Don’t ask me.



Don’t think about the true nature of sidequests too hard, Pod. That’s a dark path of moral quandaries we dare not tread. Anyway, we’ve got to go kill us a boar and a moose. Fortunately, the Forest Zone is lousy with basically an infinite supply of both.





Animals aren’t as much of a threat now that we have some support chips to mitigate their damage and their leveling tends to be within five levels of 2B’s current capabilities. Also that satchel we got ages ago makes it so they don’t auto-agro on seeing androids so we’ve got some time to wail on them before they turn hostile.



The only issue is that Boar Meat is not a guaranteed drop. Nor is Moose Meat. We’re dependent on RNG as to whether a several hundred pound beast will produce enough meat to make a steak or if it will shed a Beast Hide, which is a weapon upgrade component. Granted, we do need to grind out Beast Hides eventually. About 20 of ‘em are necessary for assorted low level upgrades among or weapons (usually 5 a piece for a Level 1 upgrade.) So it’s not a total waste of time.





The first moose that took a dirt nap and was ravaged by the androids for culinary experimentation yielded its meat immediately. Moose are dependable like that.



The boars, however, I needed to burn through about five or six to finally get enough edible flesh to make some bacon. Something tells me 2B might not have received proper training on how to harvest a downed animal... Just a hunch.



Anyway, as soon as we’ve collected a hunk of both moose and boar, we’re free to return to the Resistance Forest FOB and complete this brisk sidequest.



I tell you what, you fry this up with a little salt and pepper? Bam! Taste EXPLOSION! ...Er, allegedly.
Have you tried it yourself?
It’s actually pretty popular among the Resistance combat models. Not that it has much of an effect... Humans were so amazing, weren’t they? Just their cooking knowledge alone is enough to blow my mind! What do you think will happen to us androids once they finally come back? I mean, we’re built to fight, and if we don’t need to do that...
...
Ah, forget it. We’ve all got our own work to do, right? I’m going to keep up with food research for as long as I can. Marine life has returned in force to the oceans and rivers, after all. So when humans return, I’ll make sure to greet them with a glorious feast! See you around!





And so concludes the Culinary Researcher quest. Not sure what a bunch of buffs have to do with harvesting meat for cooking. But we’ll take it anyway.





Our next sidequest takes us back to the northern part of the Forest Zone and the amicable Animal-loving Machine. There’s a reason we went out of our way to encounter him immediately in the Forest Zone. He’s host to a couple actual quests in addition to his initial unmarked quest encounter. Let’s see what troubles the shouty boy today...



What is it?
A MOOSE I HAVE BEEN CARING FOR HAS FALLEN ILL.



You don’t “repair” animals like you do a machine. But if it’s sick, you should try giving it some medicine.
MEDI...CINE? I AM NOT FAMILIAR WITH THIS CONCEPT.
Yeah, I suppose you wouldn’t be. It’ll probably be easiest to just bring you some. Try to hang on until then, all right?



So begins our next quest. To atone for those half dozen boars and the one moose we just slaughtered to make burgers for androids who don’t actually gain sustenance from food, we’re going to have to retrieve some medicine to heal ZOAHBOT Animal-loving Machine’s critters.

2B has a few issues with this task...



I assume you have at least some idea where to start looking for animal medication?
We’ll probably need to recreate old human recipes. We should be able to find something in the commercial facility ruins.





So in other words, we need to dash back to the shopping mall. I’m fairly certain this is the final time the mall proper is ever used for any quests or has remote relevance for the rest of 2B’s adventuring, beyond passing through it to access the Forest Zone.



Several item pick-up points have appeared around the mall area, along with the usual common drops. The one we want for this quest is located across from the Lunar Tear that initiated Top Boy Emil’s earlier quest in the previous update. Let’s see what we’ve got here...

Medical Journal Obtained.



The data contained within should prove effective for ungulates such as a moose. Page 278 contains a recipe for an anti-inflammation analgesic which has a high probability of—
Whoa whoa whoa! Hold on. We haven’t even cracked this thing open yet! How do you know what’s in it?
The contents of the book are contained in my internal database.
WHAT!? Why didn’t you tell us that when we first started looking for it!?
A request for information was not submitted.
Well, this has been a glorious waste of time.
Let’s just make the medicine and get it back to that machine.



Goddammit, Pod! I can take Yoko Taro or phantom Cavia trolling. But not you. I thought you were cool... Anyway, despite 2B mentioning we should make the medicine for the animals, that isn’t actually a component of this quest. We’ve just got to bring the Medical Journal back to the machine. It will handle the rest.



However, before we go there are a few other items of note in the area. Alongside the Medical Journal, several other decoy items are scattered around the area and they’ve all got a unique chat associated with them. The first is located behind a sign on the stairs leading to the elevator going down to Kainé’s hut.



What’s this?
Analysis: That is a hygienic tool know as a “toothbrush.” Humans moved it back and forth across the teeth at a rapid rate to reduce the probability of cavities.
Cavities? As in caves?
Cavities are bits of decayed enamel caused by acids in the mouth. The cave analogy is not altogether inaccurate.
Hmm. Well, it’s got nothing to do with us.



Now watch as burgin’ becomes a popular pastime with the androids and leads to a decaying dental hygiene epidemic with the ancient human art of dentistry lost to the poor machines. Ghastly. That aside, the next decoy is located in the corner of the area just to the left of the gate leading back to the Forest Zone. What have we got...?



Pod, what’s this?
Analysis: It is a writing implement. Humans used it to record information. Many humans also believed pens were mightier than swords.
That’s insane.
It was a common human idiom. Meaning unclear.





I enjoy the mental image of 2B imaging humans marching into a warzone with a No.2 pencil and just cutting a path of baffling destruction. Androids are silly. What isn’t silly is the final bonus item in the mall. It’s located on the balcony reached up the busted escalator. Here we have...



Here’s something else.
Analysis: That is a form of sustenance known as “extreme weight-loss superfood.” Humans consumed it in place of more traditional edibles in order to reduce body mass.
Why would they want to do that?
Humans often took in more energy than they expended. Accumulated calories were converted to fat and stored, decreasing physical capabilities.
Man, humans had it rough...



What if it turn out the humans on the moon have all become akin to the ones from Wall-E. The androids are going to be so disappointed when their creators are all flabby messes with bad teeth that waste all their time doodling lewd illustrations of android butts. But enough about the follies of humanity. Let’s head back to the Animal-loving Machine and complete this quest.



THANK YOU. I WILL ADMINISTER IT IMMEDIATELY.

Sometime later...



*FIST PUMPS* ...THE MEDICINE SEEMS TO HAVE WORKED. SHE IS SLEEPING SOUNDLY.
Good to hear.
ANIMALS ARE STRANGE CREATURES. UNLIKE US, THEY CANNOT BE EASILY REPAIRED. IT MUST BE DIFFICULT TO POSSESS SUCH INCONVENIENT BODIES. HOWEVER... UNLIKE US, THEY ARE ALSO WARM.
So I’ve heard.
BEFORE I FORGET. PLEASE TAKE THIS AS PAYMENT FOR THE MEDICINE. COME AGAIN. WE WILL BE WAITING.





It’s a bit concerning the machine hands over five skinned Beast Hides. But hey. Less work for us later doing these weapon upgrades. More importantly, the reward for this quest is actually a monumental upgrade.





The Quality Satchel completely overrides the standard version. This one makes it so 2B can just mosey right on up to any moose or boar and immediately mount it without the use of Animal Bait. Indeed, we can just go ahead and sell that since this is a permanent upgrade. We have now obtained full control over nature and its fearsome tactical advantages.



Tune in next time as 2B and the first boar she runs across drift into the final stretch of sidequests as we mop up dealings in the Forest Zone. So begins the last preparations to initiate Route A’s third act as NieR: Automata continues!






Video: Episode 47 Highlight Reel





Forest Zone Concept Art – Sega, you don’t have to put a Green Hill Zone in every attempt to revitalize the Sonic franchise. You don't see Mario trotting out the gentrified relic of 1-1 for every new game.